I saw this article on Guokr and am reposting it to try out the new theme… :)
It's July, graduation season again. For many university students, the difficult choice is whether to try a long-distance relationship or break up. Is campus romance destined to fizzle out? Are couples hesitating over a long-distance relationship doomed never to find a smooth path ahead? A recent article in the Journal of Communication suggests that long-distance couples may communicate more consistently and deeply than other couples.
To see how communication differs between long-distance couples and couples living near one another, Crystal Jiang of City University of Hong Kong and Jeffery Hancock of Cornell University compared the two groups. For a week, they recorded the couples' daily communication, whether face to face or by phone, video, text message or email.
Since different couples might be at different stages of their relationships, the researchers first had the volunteers complete a questionnaire assessing how long they had been together, their relationship satisfaction and commitment, and their uncertainty about the relationship's future.
“The long-distance couples had been together longer and were more committed,” Jiang told Guokr. “But their relationship satisfaction and uncertainty about its future were similar to those of couples living near each other.”After a week, the couples reported the intimacy they felt and the intimacy they believed their partners felt. Comparing the data, the researchers found that long-distance couples felt closer to one another. They were more willing to open up and share their feelings, and they were also more likely to idealize their partners' behavior. Both tendencies were stronger when long-distance couples could communicate only by text or voice. “Because they know their opportunities to communicate are limited, they're willing to use those opportunities to discuss things that help their relationship,” Jiang told Guokr.
“Couples living near each other also say ‘I love you,’ but these sweet nothings make up a smaller proportion of their conversations; much of what they discuss may be practical matters,” Jiang explained. “Long-distance couples, on the other hand, spend most of their communication time exchanging sweet nothings, and the effect is greater.”
People have long been pessimistic about long-distance relationships. Earlier studies tended to focus on problems such as suspicion and stress. Only recently has research shown that these relationships are not always fraught with difficulties. Compared with couples who live closer together, long-distance couples have relationships that are no worse in quality, and may even be better.
Long-distance relationships are common today. Recent figures show that 3 million married couples in the United States currently live apart; 25–50% of university students are in long-distance relationships, and 75% say they have experienced at least one.
“The adaptive communication and idealization discussed in our article did not emerge only after technological advances. Similar phenomena existed back when people sent messages by carrier pigeon. New media have simply made them observable on a wider scale.”
In Jiang's view, however, new media and long-distance relationships are more closely associated than causally connected: “I'm skeptical that new media have made long-distance relationships more common. Greater social mobility may actually be the reason.” She added, “But new technologies make communication easier. They can make people feel that maintaining a long-distance relationship isn't impossible, and encourage work on more technologies to help people stay connected.”
Personally, though, I think this is actually the anthropic principle at work—only relationships like these last long enough for researchers to survey them.